Three is a crowd: Julie searching for that thrill of motherhood

David and Diane have been married for years; then there is Julie, the young secretary whose axis collides with the couple’s in ways none of them saw coming.

DAVID

By the time I left the hospital later that evening, I was vaguely concerned about Julie. Like Sandra had pointed out, all she seemed to want to do was sleep, and while I could understand that she would be exhausted after her lengthy labour, this seemed extreme and I began to wonder if she was sleeping out of genuine fatigue, or as an escape mechanism.

Furthermore, while I was smitten with our new son and could barely stop staring at him, Julie was practically avoiding any contact with him, and was happier to have Sandra or me carry him.

It did not make any sense, because most new mothers are extremely protective and possessive over their babies, and only reluctantly let others hold them; I could not understand it, but put it down to hormones and prayed they would settle down soon.                                                                                              

Despite her supposed exhaustion, Julie was insisting on being discharged the next day, saying she was tired of being in the hospital and that she was not comfortable here (even though the room was from their top package, and more closely resembled a hotel room than a hospital one).

Considering how out of it she still appeared to be, I had my reservations, but at the same time told myself that she might indeed be more comfortable in the more familiar surroundings of the flat, and hopefully that would help bring her round faster and settle better into her new role of mother; so, I caved in.

I said if the doctor gave her the all-clear and did not have any objections, neither did I. What I did not add was that once she was settled back at the flat, I would be returning to the house I shared with Diane.

I had not told her about that yet, and was not looking forward to doing so, but there was no avoiding it; the sooner she was settled back at the flat, the faster I could get on with that and get it out of the way.

JULIE

After a few hours of sleep, I felt marginally better, but could not wait to get out of the hospital and back into the flat. The main reason for this was the pressure that everyone was putting on me to do one thing or another; so, I felt trapped.

The nurse kept harping on at me about feeding the baby, while Sandra and David kept pushing me to eat, and Doctor Kenneth kept complaining about how much time I was spending in bed, saying: “Get up and walk around a bit,” when getting up and walking around was the last thing I wanted to do.

At least at the flat, I would only have Sandra and David to deal with, and if push came to shove, I could always lock myself in the bedroom when I wanted to be left alone.

Besides that, at the hospital, there was the elephant in the room that I couldn’t escape – except through sleep – I had no visitors.

Even though I was in a private room, I could still hear the sounds of happy visitors and family members walking through the corridor outside the room, and it drove home a deep sense of isolation.

My mother had not come to meet her first grandchild yet, and since no one from David’s family or circle of friends even knew he had just gotten another son, there was no chance of any of them showing up either.

All I had was Sandra and David and that showed me just how tiny my son’s and my own circle really was.

DIANE

In an odd way, having the maid back gave me a sense of power and control that transcended into my emotional state as well, leaving me calmer and more focused.

As I instructed her on what I wanted done around the house, it seemed like I was directing and realigning my own life and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was in charge of my destiny.                                                                          

David had not been in touch since his brief call informing me of the birth of his bastard; so, I was not yet quite sure when he would be returning to the house, but surprisingly, that did not even bother me anymore.

All I really cared about was getting my children back; as chaotic as they could be, I missed them and David’s announcement about his whore’s delivery only made me crave the closeness of my own children.

I did not know what the future held as far as David and I were concerned; I did not know if either one of us would ever get past the wounds the other had inflicted, or if we would ever be able to create a new degree of ‘normal’, but I did know that I was stronger than I had been in the past, and that was a starting point.

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