Unruffled by allegations, the Speaker stepped out of her usual smiley benevolence into the firm boots of unapologetic impunity. To those demanding that the speaker answers to the corruption allegations, she crisply said she does not respond to hearsay or ‘b** s*******.’
Perhaps, the Uganda Communications Commission should consider placing an R rating for explicit language, on parliamentary proceedings. When talking about the high-caliber sin of homosexuality, our leaders dress up in their Sunday- best piety and spew forth the vilest words to conjure up their vehemence to homosexuality.
The speaker has conferred martyrdom upon herself – she is bearing the great yoke of standing up to the big bad wolf that is the foreign West and their bad vices. Seriously patriotic, the saint of a speaker reiterated that she would not buckle for standing up against homosexuality.
What good fortune homosexuality presents to our beleaguered leaders! One might imagine that leaders in such a poor country (poor in priorities and leadership) would ache with tears in their eyes over accountability to the citizens. If that is your imagination, you are a homosexual.
Having told off foreign-backed homosexuals in parliament, the speaker, resplendent in yellow, headed to her home turf where she held a mammoth rally to whip up her constituents. Away from the online crowd, she played to her audience, those who put her in parliament, her voters who do not stress about accountability.
She reminded her people/voters that her leadership challenges are also their challenges – for those who demand accountability from her, seek to keep the might of the Teso sub-region away from the national cake. Her voters did not fail her – they cheered and applauded in all the right places.
Even when she blamed old women for fighting her – her audience cheered her on. Thus, one may meander and ask transparently, what do old women from another part of the country have to do with the speaker’s decadent public expenditure? If that is your transparent question, congratulations – you are now a homosexual and an old woman.
The speaker further told her people that the exhibition has shown her all those who are fighting her and she will deal with them. Now that the obese expenditure of parliament is under scrutiny, the speaker considers the demand for accountability a personal attack. Such flammable snowflake leaders!
Emphasizing her influence to her dusty-looking audience, the speaker reiterated that ‘my president’ supports her. Dear reader, if you are the speaker’s president, then hold the speaker to account. Otherwise, you remain an abhorrent creature undeserving of any accountability from your leaders.
Meanwhile, in another part of the country, a circus of transition was in motion. The First Son continued his uninterrupted ascent to climb into the colossal shoes of his father/ the president. The First Son’s radical supporters talk zealously about how the First Son absolutely definitely- certainly-totally hates corruption.
He hates it utterly that as a serving army officer engaged in partisan politics in full contravention of the law, the law does not apply to him. At the public rally-circus as musicians chanted empty slogans to whip up the crowds, a relative of the First Son threw money at the crowds.
With money and impunity on their side, what can stand against this circus? While we wait for the First Son to renounce his privilege over the rampant corruption in the country, we admire the extensive convoy that escorts him. The First Son and his revolutionary father love this country so much that they offer Ugandans a peaceful transfer of impunity.
Impunity that is homegrown; ‘Buy Uganda, Build Uganda (BUBU)’. On full display is the indifference of the president to the growing frustration of the citizenry over the glaring failings of his regime.
Should the president choose to address the nation over this small matter, he will do so in his billowing BUBU apparel and open-toed sandals. At ease, he will remind us that he has fought many wars and this corruption that is paining our patriotic heads, is a minor matter for the great resistance since 1966.
Behold the president, the speaker, and the First Son, and the glue that binds them together – voting Ugandans. The speaker, the First Son, and the president – they all have a Uganda that works for them. They have you, the voters to thank for it. Yes, you rightly argue that the incumbent regime is so heavily entrenched that elections are a farce.
That is also what they are counting on – that you are so tayaad, you retreat from your civic duty. Dear Ugandans, where is the Uganda that works for you?
You might be a homosexual old woman who is not the speaker’s president but you have this going for you – you are a Ugandan. Why should that continue to work against you? Why do your voting choices continually shame you and work against a Uganda that works for you and every other Ugandan?
smugmountain@gmail.com
The writer is a tayaad muzzukulu
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