Kampala woman MP Nabilah Naggayi and trade minister Amelia Kyambadde must be fighting a cold war of sorts.
And if that is true, then the cold war became hot last Monday, when Kyambadde appeared before the trade committee where Naggayi is a member. Things threatened to get totally out of hand until the day was saved by the intervention of the gentleman chairman.
Kyambadde was before MPs to explain when foreigners, especially Chinese, will leave petty jobs such as retailing, hawking, waiting tables and cleaning floors to Ugandans. But the chemistry between Kyambadde and Naggayi proved rather toxic, as the ladies glared at each other and banged tables.
Naggayi set the tone by accusing Kyambadde of taking the committee for granted: “You see… our laws…and that, as usual. Though it means the minister has as usual brought back an appeasement statement. …this is an adamant statement. It was recycled but toned down to impress MPs….as usual.”
No sooner had she completed her submission than Kyambadde replied: “Whoooo… mbu she is protesting for cameras to focus on her.”
This angered Naggayi, who started banging the table, which attracted more cameras just like Kyambadde had stated. Not one to be outdone, when she spoke again, the minister also felt she needed to bang tables harder in order to hammer her point home – which got more cameras pointed at her.
Committee chairman Kenneth Lubogo’s saved the day with measured counsel: “Members, members let us listen to each other; that is when we shall appreciate each other’s contribution.”
Well, well, Wolokoso has a suggestion: It’s said that the best way to get people to talk is to simply leave them together. How about the speaker locks Amelia and Nabilah in a room until they talk like honourable sisters?
There is one condition though: the room should not have any taxpayer-funded table.
Janet security still a problem for MPs
Last Wednesday was a day for education minister Janet Museveni to be at her office on Parliament avenue.
This was seen from the Special Forces Command (SFC) security that took charge of parliament security this time only at the main gate of Parliament and Development house.
Whenever she decides to make her presence felt at her ministry office at Embassy house, near Development house (an extension of Parliament), security becomes tighter at all the three gates to parliament. But on Wednesday, there was a slight change, since only the main gate was guarded by the SFC guys.
Still, some MPs from Busoga were heard talking about Janet’s security in the parking yard.
“Madam is there, don’t say I didn’t tell you. Go and present your issues on education to her since she is there,” one MP said, to which the other replied: “Hoooo, you think it is easy to reach there, don’t you see her security on the fourth floor of Development house? I simpathise with MPs with offices on that floor, do you know even going to the toilet on that floor is a problem when that woman is there?”
But these MPs! They should be feeling happy because when Mama is around, their security is assured. But of course, they don’t get it.
Macho’s Busia language leaves Amelia confused
Trade minister Amelia Kyambadde may have been around for a while, but she does not understand fully the language of ‘macho’ men. There are words men use freely which some ladies do not ‘click’.
Take Busia municipality MP Geoffrey Macho, who recently left Kyambadde and members of parliament’s committee on trade utterly confused – if bemused.
Macho, trying to highlight the plight of Ugandan businessmen and women, said: “I was shocked yesterday when I had gone to buy stocks down in Kikuubo. I saw a Chinese hawking stocks.”
Before he could finish explaining, Amelia said: “Stocks? Stocks of what?” Being a trade minister, Kyambadde wanted to know whether the Chinese was hawking stocks of radios or rollers. She was wrong.
Bukomansimbi South MP Deogratius Kiyingi appeared as confused, for he asked: “socks [shock absorbers] of a vehicle or stocks of something else?”
It was then that Macho realized that the honourables lacked the capacity to understand him: He clarified: “Stocks worn in the legs.”
Hearing this, Amelia and her team from the ministry, MPs, and journalists all exploded into prolonged, deafening laughter. Macho also joined in the laughter before adding: “You know I am from Busia border; so, sometimes pronunciation is a problem. But can’t we give Ugandans as a gift when we chase those foreign business traders during this Christmas season, as a gift?”
However Amelia and MPs continued murmuring: “But socks are socks or stockings, not stocks. When you say stocks, you confuse us.”
Well, Honourable Amelia, kasita you finally understood.
Hon Opendi and the ‘gynae touts?
Taxi touts, passengers and people working around Uganda House were recently left debating the health of the junior health minister Sarah Achieng Opendi.
It was about midday when her driver stopped near Total fuel station, towards Nandos. The minister jumped out and hurried across the busy Kampala road to Uganda House.
It would appear the good honourable was not well – as if she was becoming ‘sick’ like the English say. But yes, she appeared to spit something, forcing the ‘gynaecologists’ that are taxi touts to volunteer their opinions.
“Olwo lubuto, minisita ali lubuto [loosely meaning ‘that is a pregnancy; the minister is pregnant’]” Achieng then dashed behind Uganda House.
But that taxi touts also! Wolokoso wishes Honourable a quick recovery.