Parliament on Wednesday commits an hour for question time, where MPs get the opportunity to ask and get immediate responses from the prime minister.
Kibuku MP Herbert Kinobere used the chance to question if Prime Minister Ruhakana Rugunda can’t prevail over the minister of Education and Sports, first lady Janet Kataha Museveni, to be accessible like other ministers.
Hearing this, the whole House went silent as if an angel had visited – or as if Kinobere had dared to touch the leopard’s anus. Without mentioning her name, Kinobere said: Mr Prime Minister, mine is just a request: the minister of education and sports is not accessible. We have issues to do with education but accessing that minister [Janet] is not possible.
She is not accessible at all. We try to go through all formal means to reach her but [it is] impossible. We try to write to her, no feedback. We try all formal mechanisms but we are still blocked. Can you help us and inform her to be like other ministers?”
On this, however, the prime minister appeared unable to disturb a leopard, saying, with a brave face: “I was not aware some ministers are not accessible because the ministers are for the public and those [ministries] are public institutions.”
But he did not mention whether he would tell “the minister” to be accessible or to remain inaccessible. When the House was adjourned, some MPs were overheard debating whether Rugunda can dare call the first lady to order.
But Wolokoso has no qualms addressing Mama Janet most respectfully by saying: “Aaahmm, aahm…” Well, right honourable prime minister, you ought to handle this matter.
Gen Otafiire scares House
Last Wednesday, justice and constitutional affairs minister Kahinda Otafiire suffered a rare wardrobe malfunction of forgetting to carry a handkerchief. And it’s a day he may want to forget – or at least one he will not be keen to remember.
The general got to the House as early as 12:40pm and actually he was the only minister in the House’s about three and half hours of the plenary. To prepare amply for the session, he took a nap in the chambers – even as MPs were rushing to the Parliament canteen for lunch.
At about 2:40pm, Kadaga entered the chambers and after her communication, she asked the general to update the House on the preparedness of his ministry for local and women council elections.
It was at this juncture that Otafiire was invaded by a running nose, as if the strong AC in the chambers had affected him. No sooner had he finished two sentences than the congestion in his nose became unruly to the extent of escaping and this forced him to “internally pull it back”.
But the roaring sound of that ‘pulling’ on the microphone scared MPs such as Jonam’s Emmanuel Ongiertho. Hon Ongiertho shot up, like a kid hit by a fear bomb, but he resumed his seat on looking around and realizing that all was well.
Wolokoso empathized with the popular general, who – like a war general – fought on to make his point.
Job seekers envy Kalule Ssengo’s girl
Getting a job at parliament is not easy, but just as hard is the process of applying for it. Queues of applicants can threaten to be longer than the river Nile and one is often advised to go with a jerrycan of water. But that’s not entirely the case if you are Gomba East MP Emmanuel Kalule Ssengo.
The other day, Ssengo was rushing so that he could be in the House for the plenary session, but he had the little issue of beautiful daughter or constituent who also wanted to apply for some job.
So, while other job applicants who had lined up for hours waited, Honourable Ssengo passed them with his girl and entered the office. While some applicants thought the MP was being unfair to them, others only admired the lucky girl the honorable escorted to drop an application.
“Maama nga I am hungry; I wish I was also related to some honorable, I wouldn’t be suffering in the line for hours. Imagine, Mzee asked me to vote for him and I did, thinking he would help us; but even here where I lined up earlier, he comes to bypass us with his satisfied girl. I wish he knew how hungry and angry I am feeling;” one female applicant told colleagues who replied to “continue voting and admiring. Have you forgotten that blood is thicker than water?”
Well, even in the bush war days, some people were more equal than others.
When Nzoghu nearly fought Ayo
It’s said that ‘once honorable, always honorable’ but for some legislators, this seems untrue as they choose to do what ordinary mortals do.
This was evident the other Tuesday, when we witnessed what one would call honorable fight between Busongora North MP William Nzoghu and Kwania MP Tony Ayo at parliament’s south wing car park.
MPs often joke and tease themselves on controversial issues but this was no joking subject. The drama played out at the launch of the 16 days of activism campaign at Parliament, although people who left immediately after speaker Kadaga’s speech missed it.
It started when Ayo told Nzoghu that Kasese leaders should talk responsibly and sensitize their people about dangers of war: “Condemning the state is not enough. You people do not understand what war is. Those people did not only stop at killing my brother but went ahead to behead him as if killing was not enough.”
This upset Nzoghu and, like a wounded lion, he started folding his suit-sleeves in preparation to pounce on Ayo. MPs including Samuel Okwir (Moroto), Hamson Obua (Ajuri), Christine Achen (Alebtong Woman), Atkins Katusabe (Bukonzo West) and Hassan Kaps Fungaroo (Obongi) all watched the proceedings, but sensing how bloody it was about to be, Fungaroo and Katusabe moved fast to cut short the fight.
Nzoghu is a little vertically- challenged, and is not the biggest of MPs; Ayo, on the other hand, is something of a giant. Shortly after the separation, MPs were heard musing about how the fight was like a clash between a chameleon and an elephant.
Who would have won? We will never know!