It might be just me attracting the wretched dregs from the bottom of the dating well, but it would seem that men have lost all ability to flirt.
Either that or they are making a deliberate effort to kill the concept, one unfortunate girl at a time!
The latest fly in my soup is a marketing executive who, by virtue of his profession, should have pretty excellent communication skills which would mean he can read body language and follow the cues to shut up. No way! I even deployed my blank, raised eyebrow side stare… dude just kept going!
First of all, he ruined what was a pretty productive networking session when he barged in to demand an introduction to yours truly. Then after getting answers to a couple of questions, he decided he knew enough about me to prepare and unleash a lecture on what I ought to do to have a more successful life.
I will try not to dwell on his assumption that my life is unsuccessful. However, that is the point at which my mind started wandering to the spaces between his teeth, a particularly large pockmark on his nose and the sharp angles of his hairline… He was still talking and, to drive a point home, he picked on me: “For example, if you were on a supermarket shelf with other women, why would I pick you and not another woman?”
Dude!
He actually waited for an answer. Was I really supposed to make a case for myself to him?! Like… why?!
Faced with silence, he proceeded to explain all the things I should do to make myself attractive to other people; all the while weaving in brands, equity, upscaling and some such marketing jargon.
To crown it all, he asked me to contact him because, in his words, “I have so much more to share with you”.
I used his business card to pick my teeth and tossed it in a bin! Great balls of fire!!!
At times, I have been accused of being clueless when a man is interested. Sometimes I am, but in cases like this, I feign the cluelessness to prevent any more attention and thus inflict further pain upon myself. But it is for both reasons – the inability to decode roundabout sweet-talk and the disinterest in pain – that makes me such a fan for straight talk.
There can be no course in flirting. It would require as many curricula as there are personalities out there. Take what works for you and make it your own.
For example, one of the coolest men I know will compliment my blouse and then immediately follow it with: “Actually it is not so much the blouse, but the way it enhances your assets.”
After the initial shock wore off, I came to appreciate his bluntness. After all, it is what it is.
But bluntness works for him, I think, because he exudes an honesty that eliminates all creepiness. However, if you are encumbered by shifty eyes, fidgety hands and the misfortune to sweat for no apparent reason or worse, a tendency to drool… keep us guessing. And do not express everything that is running through your mind.
If you think I am exaggerating, just be thankful you have not been on the receiving end!
