Siraj Ibrahim Doka and Alawiyyah Muhamad Rajab are lucky their culture is not diluted like in other parts of Uganda.
The weekend of May 13 (Friday and Saturday) was full of activity as the two organized their wedding ceremony in line with Nubian traditions. Doka and his entourage arrived at the trading centre near Bombo military barracks at 1pm, from where they were ushered into a two-roomed house.
This session was known as the mahare (bride gifting) and where the groom is supposed to ask the bride what she would like him to give to her. It is another Islamic influence, seeing as the Nubian culture is steeped in Islam.
Doka said they had agreed with his sweetheart beforehand on what he could bring to avoid embarrassment. One of Rajab’s elders said Rajab could ask for items such as cars, houses or opt for nothing but love; all the items are supposed to be bought by the groom’s mother.
“The essence of this ceremony is to get the couple committed to marriage, for they get a feeling of being indebted to each other,” he said.
The elder said some Nubian girls use this opportunity to make the men commit themselves to a monogamous marriage by asking them not to marry other women as per the Islamic tradition.
When a man fails to commit himself on the mahare, the ceremony can be halted. He, however, has the opportunity to pay in installments or pledge his commitment but in case of divorce, the girl’s family is expected to pay back the mahare.
At 1:30pm, Doka and his entourage were led to a nearby mosque to tie the knot (Nikkah). The mosque was occupied by men only and the women were left outside.
The Nikkah was performed by sheikhs, with Rajab represented by her brother as she remained in hiding until it was time to go to her husband’s home. Doka said the law does not allow her to be exposed during the Nikkah, to protect her from temptation in case “she sees other men who could talk her out of committing her life to me”.
After the nuptials in the mosque, Doka and his entourage were invited for lunch and then into the main house for the final rituals. In the sitting room, I found a fully covered Rajab seated on a mat and outsiders were not allowed to see her. But because I was to capture her memorable moments on camera, they gave me a few minutes.
Then Doka was ushered into the main house for the final formalities; he was told to lift his bride’s veil only once to confirm he had the right girl. Once he was sure, many elderly women surrounded the couple and sang Yayibe, a song about a man’s approval of his wife.
Kasifa Twalib said during this session, a man has to find his girl pure and chaste, and without much in terms of modern clothing.
“She does not wear any cloth, that is why you see her wrapped by that fabric commonly referred to as lesu,” she said.
The couple had a wedding reception at Junda gardens in Entebbe on Saturday, where they finally interacted freely as husband and wife.
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