And I know an equal number that married a ‘finished product’, only for it to disintegrate spectacularly and end in tears. Of course, there is no foolproof formula to finding the perfect mate; there are also many women stuck with a spouse that oozed that special ingredient, but never turned it into gold, just like there are others that married for money and power, and things are going swimmingly!
All I am saying to those in the ‘available and searching’ phase, don’t box yourself in because of what social media and peer pressure are preaching today; not everyone is going to marry a rich man. Not everyone is going to marry the successful, respectful woman with the Midas touch on life.
You know that girl that comes into your life and turns things upside down in a beautiful way? The one who influences her man’s fortunes, appearance, zeal for life and growth, etc?
That girl also initially comes packaged in just ‘potential’ and you may not know these attributes until you marry her. One hugely prosperous husband said he met his wife when they were both poor and barely out of their teens, and just by talking to her during their dates, he realized this was the woman who would not only be a good mother to his children, but one he would enjoy doing life with.
“Three decades later we are still together and let me tell you, even when I simply upset her, I have a really sh*tty day at work. Maybe I am superstitious, maybe not; but I think whom one has sex with, and how, really affects so many aspects of life spiritually, physically and especially financially,” he recently shared, prompting me to write about this quality called ‘potential’.
“You need to tell the young, unmarried people that ‘potential’ is still a very valid quality to look out for in a spouse, and not be sucked into this social media-steered madness of every woman wanting the rich guy, and every man wanting a woman with money, perfect figure, etc. So shallow!”
The reader was responding to my recent column, ‘Where we will always agree to disagree’, which in part talks about the importance of finance in romance. He is concerned that in today’s rush to get married because “it is the right time; now or never”, young people are overlooking the crucial factors and misfiring in marriage.
I wish I could ask Fiona Naggirinya aka Sasha Ferguson and NBS TV reporter Canary Mugume what they saw in each other so many years ago when they were both almost children!
Now married and considered one of Kampala’s power couples, I am sure that away from love and chemistry, they recognized this ‘potential’ even then. And don’t joke with a woman’s intuition. It is part of that software God uniquely installed to let us into men’s psych and actions.
Unless we choose to ignore this intuition, it is never wrong. It is intuition that tells your wife when you are cheating. It is intuition that recognizes potential and causes a woman to see beyond the ‘bad boy’ everyone sees in Bobi Wine and calmly wait for Robert Kyagulanyi to manifest.
But modernity and social media are drawing us away from those innocent but rich pairings of yesteryears and everyone is now chasing after the bag, regardless the monster carrying it.
Like my reader advised, don’t give up on potential. In fact, it can be quite the aphrodisiac when a broke man carries himself with confidence, determination and mettle.
You only get to see this potential by talking to the person; dating and courting wholesomely and obeying your intuition. Just be careful; ‘daydreaming’ many times also presents as ‘potential’, which it is not! This is where intuition plays a big role.
inarticle} inarticle}