It is the ‘ugly’ truth. Ask that popular Masaka businessman who once got all the smashingly beautiful girls, until he recently joined the ‘gavumenti etuyambe’ chorus.
The only thing that comes close to money is power, but still power in most cases comes as a result of money and privilege. The good girl inside every woman will scoff at this (‘who needs money? All we need is love’), but reality soon balances the boat for her. I know many wives stuck in horrible, sexless marriages, just because the money makes the unbearable bearable.
I know women that have walked out of good marriages with peaceful, virile men, just because they lacked one thing: the vibe that money brings to a relationship. Does it always end well for such women? No. I am just saying that it is what it is.
And now ever since the women decided they too can dish it out and net any man they desire, many in the corporate world, business and politics are generous with their money too, financing their weddings, honeymoons, bride price and the entire marriage!
So, the bug has caught the men too, and that Gwen Guthrie voice singing “…no romance without finance…” is these days very much male!
The allure and power that come with money in a relationship needs comprehensive research. One need not even know what one is doing in bed, as long as one knows how to count the ‘paper’; their spouse will hang in there. Sadly.
This is not making the advocacy for better sex in marriages any easier. The truth is, a bad debt can very easily render a healthy man temporarily impotent and uninterested in sex. A Ugandan wife once admitted to snapping at her husband who dared ask her to make love yet their children were home, sent by their schools for the tuition fees balance.
“Where do you even get the erection from when we have no school fees for our children?” she admitted to snapping at him, effectively shutting down his hopes for any pink elephants that night.
You may be the best lover this side of the equator, but five consecutive days of a landlord angrily banging on your door for rent are enough to relegate you from those rankings. One husband, while celebrating another wedding anniversary, reminisced a time at the beginning of their marriage when the love was strong and the sex great, but the money was not cooperating with their union.
“I deliberately mistreated this woman because I couldn’t afford to feed her and the baby, hoping she would leave me and go back to her parents, but she refused to budge!” he said, as their guests laughed, many of them possibly relating.
No wonder in Christianity, we believe that money is not a thing; it is a spirit. Nothing can otherwise explain why it wields so much power, causing people to steal our taxes and cheat in business so callously, all in the name of beefing up their libidos and images. For the opposite sex, mainly.
What am I getting at here? Make money. If I am to be realistic, that is all I am saying.
inarticle} inarticle}
