I mean, how better to address the rampant sexual networks and resultant health issues and domestic violence, than starting with the root cause?
Studies have shown that given the right circumstances and knowledge, every woman was designed by God to achieve orgasm. So, why then are there so many women in sexless and/or ‘orgasmless’ marriages – not that they are complaining?
“Australian sex therapist Bettina Arndt’s book The Sex Diaries (2009) sold widely in part because it addresses directly many women’s startlingly low levels of desire.
Arndt reported that it quite common, in her clinical experience, for women to want sex less often than their husbands do, and that this is the acknowledged secret behind many divorces, and even behind many male infidelities,” Naomi Wolf writes in Vagina: A New Biography.
Behind every woman you know who absolutely hates sex, is a spouse who has zero clue about her body and how to fine-tune it. That, and the fact that many women have no clue about what it is they want sexually, or how to get it.
As that frustration of not knowing what it is men enjoy so much from sex builds, some wives turn sex into bait or a weapon; then, at least, they are getting something out of it.
“If a man follows [his] culture’s ‘script’ about what the vagina is, what female sexuality is, and how in general to relate to a woman, he is very likely, against all of his dearest wishes and best intentions, to miss, over time, knowing what is necessary to keep her aroused,” Wolf writes.
“The most destructive thing that men are being taught about women is that the vagina is just a sexual organ, and that sex for women is a sexual act in the same way it is for men.”
That, and the odd assertion I often hear that “women are the same” sexually. How wrong! No wonder so many have no clue what an orgasm is, despite being sexually active with their spouses, even daily. Can you imagine how boring and unhappy that can be – having regular sex without ever experiencing the toe-curling pink elephants’ dance that comes with great loving?
And you are surprised that after a few years in marriage, your wife would now rather iron the clothes, till the shamba or go to the dentist – any excuse to not make love with you?
When you successfully unlock your wife’s body and somehow awaken that volcano that has lain dormant inside her for decades, trust me, she will be the one doing all the chasing for the sex.
Remember, some women’s first encounter with sex was sadly rape, and here she is, finding herself in a marriage where her husband, instead of taking his time with her and investing in her pleasure, also simply rapes her regularly. No wonder she would rather go have her perfectly healthy teeth pulled.
If you love her, then her sexual enjoyment shall be your business too. Take more time with foreplay; talk more; discover her erogenous zones together; beyond the sex, be generous and affectionate; be attentive to her needs.
You know what they say: happy wife, happy life.
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