I could go on and on. The truth is, the way some people treat their possessions such as cars, houses, etc, says a lot about how they treat their spouses. But also, others treat those things way better than they treat their spouses.
This came to me recently as I drove up a particularly steep hill in Seguku. My Subaru usually eats up that hill without any effort, but recently when the said Subaru was in the garage and I was temporarily using a Suzuki, I thought the poor car would break down halfway up, or roll backwards, the way it was struggling!
And I thought, this is just like marriage; some people married ‘1.3cc Suzukis’ but expect ‘2.5cc Subaru’ output when it comes to sex. Sigh. Even when you have heard myths such as ‘all women are the same’, consider them the hogwash they are, because no two libidos are similar; not all women have the exact same sexual needs and preferences; even stamina differs.
You will find a burly, strong-looking man with a 1.3cc engine when it comes to sex, and a small-bodied, weak-looking man but with a powerful engine that effortlessly eats up the miles and steep slopes. Just know what (whom) you married, and reduce pressure.
Just because your friends brag about marriages where the lovemaking is not lovemaking until their husbands have gone several bouts in one night several times a week, don’t demand the same treatment from your spouse whose engine was not built for such hard work!
And like everything that gives you pleasure, convenience and value- addition, invest the time and care. Some people care about their cars better than their spouses – yet, they expect top output from both. What a shame!
You know how to tend your flower garden and water it for the best blooms; you know how to prune your fruit trees for the best yield, but for some reason, you expect results – sexual and otherwise – from a marriage you hardly tend or care about.
Know your ‘car’, mate; when the potholes are bad (read poor health, their mood occasionally needs some jumpers…) teach yourself to slow down, be more patient and not just step on the gas and break or damage things!
If you want your marriage to be more enjoyable and sexually fruitful, know this person you married, more intimately; their dos and don’ts when it comes to sex, what kind of libido are you dealing with? How far would be ‘too far’ to push them?
No one wants to be subjected to that Seguku hill five times a week when the engine clearly sputters and groans all the way to the top! Be sensitive; because, it is also true that in many – if not most – marriages the engines can be completely mismatched.
One’s ‘sexual engine’ is a Mercedes Benz G-Wagon, married to a Toyota Passo… No offense to the Passo drivers. Just recognize those differences to harmonise your needs, expectations and end goals.
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