A contented, peacefully happy husband – be it at home or elsewhere – will subconsciously be more attached, attentive and generous to the queen of that home/place.
Similarly, a well-catered-to wife – be it at home or elsewhere – will also subconsciously submit sexually and in every other way, to the king of that home/place. If you don’t believe me, watch the relationships/marriages around you and study the patterns.
Where a husband is quick with his compliments, thoughtfulness without nudging, generosity that sometimes even extends to his wife’s family, the wife usually comes to the marital bed with a sense of indebtedness – not because she is prostituting herself as some like to bastardise this reciprocity, but because she is genuinely responding to how well her husband made her feel by doing everything in her God-given power to make him feel good too in return.
Not just in the lovemaking department, but such wives can be generally the best homemakers, mothers, etc. And the opposite is true, in my opinion. A wife who brings one hundred per cent to her home, marriage and bed, triggers something in her husband who, without trying too hard, pays her back with loyalty, love, generosity, attention and more.
That is the wife who does not have to grapple with so-called ‘office wives’. There are faithful husbands in this country, you know…!
My friend recently lost her husband of 32 years, and not once in that time did she see, suspect, or deal with a ‘side dish’ – not even at the funeral, where they usually jump out of closets.
“Not that he was not tempted, by the way. One woman who is now also married, confessed to me that she had done everything for years to sway my late husband in her favour, but he remained uninterested,” she recently told me.
“She told me all this the day she boldly came to me for reference to ‘my witchdoctor’, because she was convinced that whatever potion I gave my man really worked and I was the talk of neighbourhood. But no…I just used to give my very best to the marriage.”
The moment you allow your marriage to lose that reciprocity is when you open it up to possible ‘office husbands’ and ‘office wives’. There is someone in your spouse’s other spaces who greedily recognizes the gaps you have created and can cunningly jump in to fill the void and leave a trail of indebtedness.
Everyone loves to feel good. To feel peace. To feel special. To feel appreciated. To feel needed. After their endurance of a bad situation has run its course, your spouse may – God forbid – succumb to temptation, unless they were built from truly sterner stuff.
Also, if your spouse is doing their part and you don’t even try at yours, trouble still. It is okay to not get the perfect score, but at least score a seventy percent through those things you can do.
It is no secret that stunningly beautiful wives can still struggle in their marriages, because they realise soon enough that pretty alone does not cut it after a few months; handsome, well-endowed husbands are often left perplexed when their wives express dissatisfaction with the marriage and maybe even indulge an ‘office husband’ in a moment of weakness.
Reciprocity. Physical attributes alone will not fly for long; how do you make your wife feel? That is the question. Writing this today, in fact, reminds me of Quincy Jones and James Ingram’s classic ballad, One Hundred Ways.
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Drinks,curvy ladies ,smart wires,cheap lodges,gym clubs, submissive housemaids among others are the fighting forces against self discipline in Uganda so to keep your stuff in your pants required a lot of self discipline and delay gratification everyday for 365 days a year .