And growing up, I cannot thank her enough for that skill; massage is an important part of life, healthy living and intimacy. Knowing what to do and how to do it goes a long way.
It has also helped me discern when I am under the hands of a professional therapist (you feel awesome afterwards) and when someone has no clue what they are doing (you get up from the massage table and feel like passing out!)
Anyway, the art of massage. These are things that can make your marriage and its private moments richer, whether the massage leads to great lovemaking or not.
Learn how to give a decent massage; whether it is just a simple head-neck-shoulder massage after a stressful day, or a foot-rub to relax tired feet, or a full body massage to relieve aching muscles and tension points, or you want to take it a notch higher and make it an erotic massage that will unlock other sessions.
Always start with a bath. Every part of the body is more pleasant to touch when clean. Plus, you will not feel timid flaunting a clean body before your spouse.
There is something beautiful and natural about a man massaging a woman and vice versa; each brings the right hand- pressure that the other gender needs in that moment.
Once clean, use a flat, comfortable surface or sturdy bed – no spring bases or spring mattresses – lest you injure yourselves. Then set the mood with the right lighting, music and do-not-disturb instructions to the rest of the house.
Invest in the right aromatherapy oils; there used to be some in the Banana Boat shops, but also a good pharmacy can have an assortment of essential oils.
Depending on what you want to achieve, choose from lavender, tea tree, ylang-ylang (this one is said to relax but also increase sexual desire), peppermint, sandalwood, jasmine, chamomile and more. The list is endless.
Some of these essential oils are said to have aphrodisiac properties even when simply inhaled, but because of the relaxation and mood-boosting that comes with a good massage, every oil can lead you down that path, if that is your intention, especially from the way you deliver your massage.
If you are in a cold room, or your hands are generally cold (some people’s hands are naturally always warm), then rub them together with oil before you start, to make them less shocking to the touch.
Then, preferably starting with the feet and kneading those nerve endings and pressure points in the instep, ball and heel, work your way up the body using the right pressure (determined by the recipient), making sure you use enough oil, so that you don’t cause friction and bruises.
During massage, it is generally advised to knead in the general direction of the heart, so that you don’t cause too much disruption to the circulatory system.
When under the hands of an unprofessional masseuse who just presses the body ‘anyhowly’ like dough, you will most likely get up and feel lightheaded for several hours afterwards.
And in bony places such as the ankles, knees and the head, reduce the pressure considerably. If you want the massage to morph into foreplay, then of course take more time and be naughty when you reach your spouse’s erogenous zones.
You will even discover more of them as you continue. Bottom line, let good massage – emphasis, good – be part of your intimate routine. You will no longer have to beg and cajole your spouse for the sugar.
You will see.
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