And comically, there was outrage from some men about how “dirty” these women were for not washing their hair more often. Never mind that it is actually not advisable to wash one’s hair daily.
Tellingly, black women in general – who always have so much to say about everything – were missing from this conversation. Probably like me, they were too busy wondering and feeling perplexed: six days without a hair wash is a long time?? Ha!
Ask a woman with a perm the last time she let water touch her scalp. On average, they will tell you, they go for hair treatment every two weeks. Others take longer. Now ask one with a weave-on or wig…you will sneeze in respect. Move on to braids, which can sit on some heads for two months without a single wash!
Which brings me to the topic today. Your personal hygiene can lock you out of good loving and sex, without you realizing what the problem even is. A smelly scalp is not ideal for cuddling and foreplay, which many women love more than even the intercourse itself.
So, why are you going months without cleaning your hair and still demand that your husband loves you like you see in the movies; cuddles with you and buries his nose lovingly in your hair? That hair?! Let us be realistic. You pride in your gym membership where you go sweat it out daily, then take a shower, skip the hair as usual and let the dirt and sweat dry on the scalp.
With time, that accumulation starts smelling quite crazy, yet you wonder why your husband is frugal with his hugs, spooning and lovemaking lately. Many husbands will prefer to keep the peace, and not complain, lest they are lambasted and asked the last time they availed any money for hairdressing!
Even with braids, you can wash them regularly and when they start looking unkempt, simply replace them. Otherwise, if your reasons for not washing them are financial (so they stay longest), maybe it is time to go natural where the fuss over water is nonexistent.
Have you looked at that weave upon removal from the cornrow tracks? How much filth is trapped at the bottom? Not sexy. What looks good does not necessarily appeal to the rest of the senses. I have also seen debates about what hairstyles men find the sexiest, and in almost all of the cases, natural, simple cornrows come out on top.
Not a single time have I seen a weave-on, wigs or braids get picked. Not to say that we beautify ourselves solely for men; nope, we feel great when we know we look great. However, if your husband does not like the smell of your hair, that should matter, big time!
If your spouse has a problem with how drippy or smelly your wet-look is, and the stain it leaves on the pillows, then maybe it is time to compromise and reconsider hairstyles… don’t be unnecessarily stubborn, lest you score an own goal.
Where marriages have become asexual, hygiene comes up a lot in those conversations; husbands who want to take a bath once a week or even fortnightly. Spouses who insist on experimenting sexually, when their bodily hygiene is very wanting. Husbands who braid their hair or keep dreadlocks, but rarely wash them, etc.
Watch it.
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