The need to show off one’s nudity has become so normal in the West, thanks to a coveted Hollywood culture, which is fast-spreading here as well.
Party gowns with necklines plunging to the navel; lacy dresses with no petticoats underneath; ridiculous slits that leave women’s vaginas on display when they walk…name it.
If men thought push-up bras and bulging breasts threatening to spill out of our blouses were anything to rant about, this current craze for showing as much skin
as possible is something else. I have no problem with modernity until it starts affecting marriages and the quality of sex therein.
Even where one is not dressed extremely provocatively, the so-called ‘old-fashioned’ small things that kept a sensual mystery in the mix of lovemaking have been thrown out the window.
I don’t know how many times I almost ask random women to sit ‘properly’, because this sitting with one knee in Tibet and the other in Timbuktu is so not sexy.
Or a wife in a T-shirt sans bra, going to the shops with her DD-cup breasts swinging around. Where is the mystery?
It may sound sexist and I apologise in advance, but the reality also remains, wives’ bodies should be captivating to their husbands. This can only be maintained by helping some parts of your body to retain their spellbinding power whenever they are seen.
However, that loses meaning if these tiny and flirty dress styles become your daily uniform. Yawn.
Of course men too have seductive bodies, but the way women are wired, what turns her husband on may not necessarily turn her on if roles were reversed.
Him slowly unveiling his hairy thigh would only send his wife into hysterics. There are other aspects to a man that wives find irresistible and attractive, and they have little to do with physical appearance.
That is why I am focusing more on the women, because their husbands are very visual creatures, whereas they (wives) are emotional creatures. Now, old-fashioned does not mean looking scruffy and boring; I am thinking more along the lines of leaving a lot to imagination even as you maintain classy wardrobe choices.
If your husband is a ‘legs man’, it does not mean you never put the legs away at all, or you never cover them in anything bigger than a hankie.
If he is a boobs guy, it does not mean you constantly parade them on top of your garments as modern fashion dictates. In fact, men watch the space; even bras are out of fashion, just like their cousins the petticoats before them.
But remember, madam; after an initial few days of awestruck reactions, you will turn your ammunition into ordinary things that don’t cause any tweaks.
You have a great backside, hallelujah. Give your husband ideas in that tight skirt, but also remember to tease his imagination in clothes that ‘say it without saying it’.
I already apologised for how sexist this sounds to a feminist mind, but it is also reality. We cannot blindly copy everything from the West. Your brown thighs are no longer that alluring because they are constantly on display like a forehead, day-in, day-out.
Younger girls playing the dating game may successfully use these semi-nudity tricks to attract attention and get wallets snapping open as if by magic, but even they will tell you there are hardly any long-lasting results from those escapades.
To always walk around the house stark naked may work erotically the first few time you do it. After a while, nudity becomes your new, boring normal. Well, each to their own, but I believe there is still a cease for some old fashioned ways.
carol@observer.ug