Patriko Mujuuka

But where did you pick it from?

I was at Kiswa primary school (Bugolobi); so, I had many Acholi friends. That’s how I came to master the accent. I also researched about it.

Research? How?

[Cheekily] You spend a few times with people from the area [there is a big Acholi community around Kiswa] during the evenings at malwa (local brew) joints.

OK, moving on; who has been your favourite co-presenter? [Patriko presents CBS FM’s Mulungera Express in the mornings].

Hmmm… I think it is Ann Sebunya [his current co-host] No, it was [Sheila] Nvannungi.

Why Nvannungi?

She was a fellow actress; so, we did a lot of things in comedy. It was easy to do impromptu comedy on radio. Mostly we did not [follow a script] and things were just flowing.

You are a sharp dresser, Patriko. Where do you get your suits from?

[Laughs] It depends on what I’m going to do that day. I just buy them anywhere. I don’t have a particular shop, but when I travel abroad I shop.

Given a choice, which ministry would you remove from cabinet?

[Chuckles] Some of the ministries might not be useless, but people in those ministries don’t know what they are doing; for instance, Ministry of Urban Planning!

Hahaha…

When you move around Kampala and other urban centres, you wonder what that ministry is doing; most of the work is done by urban councils and you wonder, the ministry is for what?

Any others?

Authorities are doing some work! [But] the ministry of Works and Unra… you wonder why we need both.

Also ministry of Ethics and Integrity. The name sounds good, but no action. They rush to act on what they see from the social media. Some ministries are there to please particular people but are not any good for the public.

Now I can see you really have political intentions

[Brightens up] Yeah! I’m going to stand in Nakifuma, Mukono district. I want to represent my people in 2021. I want to replace [makes air quotes] Eng Kafeero Sekitoleko, the current member of parliament.

Is it because of the age limit bill?

No! There are many problems in Mukono that Sekitoleko has failed to address for the last 10 years. It is time young and energetic brains came in; the youth need to be assisted and we need people with networks.

The Bobi Wine bug has bitten you.

[Passionately:] I’m not in that wave. Bobi and I were supposed to stand for the 2021 elections, but his opportunity came earlier when an MP [Apollo Kantinti] was thrown out of parliament.

Parliament has fewer artistes than teachers and lawyers; the only problem is that they are famous, that’s what is raising dust [he lists Kato Lubwama, Judith Babirye and Bobi Wine].

On which party ticket are you standing?

I’m going as an independent [Quick Talk gives him a look]. I will be for the people; that is People Power, anyways [laughs].

Don’t you fear Uganda’s kiboko politics?

I’m not scared. Sticks are not made for particular people. I will definitely not just look on as they beat me. I will definitely find a way.

Politics aside, on to cooking…

[Clearly he did not see that one coming] Eeeh. I don’t cook, but I can cook. I have a wife [Mama Marjo] and maid at home, who do the cooking; if people found me cooking, it would look weird.

But why? Anyway, if you were to cook, what would Mama Marjo and Marjo eat?

Rice, posho, spaghetti. Yeah, those bachelor foods. [Someone has not been a bachelor in a long time. Now, the food is one: rolex.]

Talking of your wife, who is she? Everyone calls her Mama Marjo…

She is called Lydia Mujuuka. What else do you want to know now? I try to differentiate between Patriko on stage and Patrick at home. The challenge with most artistes is they can’t differentiate stage from family.

So, you don’t take comedy home?

No! When you find me at home, I’m not the joker; at home I’m a quiet person and if you don’t see my car, people might think I’m not in.

Wow

Maybe to some extent [I remain funny] to my wife. For the kids, it’s a serious father they get. My kids may see me on TV, especially my six-year-old boy who watches the adverts, but I try to avoid being seen. Even my DVDs are kept under key and lock.

How old are you?

Hmmmm, just know I’m level four. Level four. Is that what we call the 40s now? How many kids do you have?

I have six, but just know, Abaganda tebabala baana. These kids are from two women.

Eh. You have two wives?

No. I got some when I was still at school.

I see. What cologne do you wear?

I don’t have a particular one.

And what is the craziest thing you have ever done?

We once drove from Kampala to Masaka without any agenda. We were stopping at every trading centre to refill our beer bottles, since we did not have empties. We ended up sleeping in Masaka without any program there.

How many pairs of shoes do you have?

I don’t know.

Hahaha…OK, what takes the largest portion of your wardrobe?

Shirts!

Why?

I can put on a pair of jeans for a very long time when I’m just changing shirts … that’s what we call recycling.

Who is your role model?

They come in different areas, but in drama I like Christopher Mukiibi. He is no longer on stage, but he used to be with the Theatricals.

When not on radio…?

I’m doing production, script writing and producing. I also have a small farm where I rear animals and grow crops. I also do some running in the evening.

Who is your favourite musician?

Bobi Wine. And my best friend is my wife; she is the one I can tell all my secrets.

How sweet! I noticed your ringtone is an advert.

Yes! It’s for Hardware World…. That’s a friend’s business; so, I’m trying to promote his [Simon Sekankya] business. That’s part of my tofaali.

Who is Patricko

  • Patrick Mujuuka was born in Mbuya, a Kampala suburb. He attended Kiswa Primary School, Kyambogo College School for O-level and A-level.
  • He later joined Uganda Polytechnic Kyambogo (UPIK) now Kyambogo University, and later attained a Diploma in Music, Dance and Drama from Makerere University.
  • He also has a degree in Public Administration and Management from Nkumba University.
  • He is the fifth child of the eight children of Thomas Mujuuka and Lovis Nabiyonga Mujuuka of Nakifuma, Mukono district.

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