I look back and wonder what life would have been like, had I known the importance of friendship!
Twice in my life, I have been advised by my pastor to look closely at the company I keep, and on both occasions I remember feeling quite irritated by the very idea that my pastor was seemingly meddling into my private life and choices.
The first time, I was very fresh to salvation and came with quite some baggage in form of friends. I was very much a clique person; my kikosi was big and eccentric.
Then one day during fellowship, Pastor Stephen Mukulu told me the Lord would one day use me mightily, but it would not happen unless I removed myself from some circles and friends I kept. I could not fathom living without some of those people!
When God saw how hard it was for me, He started showing me some of their true colours and how much one, the one I was closest to, actually disliked me. I started overhearing her talk about me with someone who would graciously put her on speakerphone whenever she called; other friends started sharing how enchanted she was by sorcery and witchcraft, and that is how I finally cut the cord.
My life took a turn for the better, both spiritually and physically. I am still friends with a couple of my old mates from the kikosi, but we have boundaries and limits.
Years later, I struck up another friendship with a very churchy girl, who turned out to be more of a cult agent, to my dismay, again despite my pastor’s several warnings to “watch that friendship”. That was the most disastrous relationship in my life, I think, because it went on for close to 10 years, with a wolf well-camouflaged as a sheep.
Again, it took God to expose her definitively, when my loyalty had blinded me to all the obvious red flags. I severed all ties and felt a huge spiritual relief. When people tell you to watch your circle of friends or edit it whenever necessary, take it seriously.
They are no just being motivational speakers; the friends we keep can actually suck us dry or fill us to an overflow. I know people who are struggling in life, but the biggest problem is the company they keep, yet they are not willing to walk away.
Who are your friends?
Look, marriage is the most important relationship you will establish in your lifetime – pick wrong and you are finished; find the right one and you are set for life. But even friendships are not far behind marriage in importance and spiritual significance. Don’t put yourself out there, fwaa.
I learned the hard way.