PAULSON KASANA LUTTAMAGUZI SEMAKULA wants to stand for president come 2031. He is currently the MP for Nakaseke South. The vocal opposition MP and Mercedes Benz lover had a chat with Quick Talk in the parliament lobby.

After telling him what the interview is about, the bubbly and hilarious politician gives Quick Talk a few minutes of his time…

Would you like to sit down?
No. [Speaking firmly and loudly, yet managing to stay courteous:] For us we are fighters. We should stand.

OK. When were you born?
[Still speaking loudly enough for even passers-by to hear:] I was born December 26, 1979.
 
Wow. Christmas must be interesting in your home. Are you married?
Yes, but it is not official [kyokka Honourable. You are either married, or not.]

What is her name?   
Sometimes we choose to hide some of our family members because of the nature of politics, but I have one child.

How do you find parenting?

Being a parent today is challenging because you have to work. The would-be ideal time to interact with children [evening], you go back home tired and sometimes find them tired and asleep.

What about your own childhood?

I have been a very hardworking person since childhood. I was born in Nakaseke. My parents were good farmers. My family was known as a big agricultural family.

My father is the late Luttamaguzi Mukiibi [not the NRA/M war hero Edidian Luttamaguzi] and my mother is Cissy Nalunkuuma. I didn’t get much of my parents’ attention since I studied in boarding schools.

Which boarding schools?

I went to Kitebi primary school. For secondary I went to Jinja College briefly. I left it because of the strike and joined Jinja Secondary School where I completed my O-level. For A-level, I went to Luweero SS and then did a Bachelor of Commerce degree at Makerere University.

Hmmm… So, what is your current ringtone?

[Smiling broadly and speaking with pride:] Ekitiibwa kya Buganda. I have maintained it for a very long time because I like the Kabaka. I did it because one of my grandparents, Dr Jack Luyombya, was a minister in Mengo.

And who is on speed dial?

[Almost mentions a name, but suddenly stops before bursting into laughter.] That one is a secret. I will tell you some day. You know, with the politics of today, you need to keep some issues private [Sigh!]

So, which other issues do you keep private?

For example, I have three homes and it is very hard for one to tell where exactly I stay [well, let Ugandans brace for when you become president then, Honourabe!]
 
And do you have a wife for every home?

[Laughing] And that is exactly what almost everyone asks. No. I have one wife.

So, do you keep moving with her from one home to another?

That is my secret. Given the side I am on and the fact that I am controversial like you said, I have to highly safeguard my privacy. When you are controversial, you live controversially. Not so?

Hahaha! Right. But hasn’t your controversial nature had any repercussions on your private life?
I am an open-minded person. I call a spade a spade. Whether you call it a spoon to hoodwink people, it will still remain a spade.

What is your kind of music?

I like slows so much [now, that is a thought; MP Luttamaguzi slow-dancing. Hmm!] I used to like our [Ugandan] music so much but these people’s [hoarse] vocals are so annoying. They cannot attract a person of my caliber. I like Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey and…Beyoncé also has good music.

Eh, only women?

No. Among men, I like Michael Jackson’s music, Kenny Rogers and Lucky Dube. Locally, I used to like Ronald Mayinja before he got spoilt.

How is Mayinja spoilt?

One day I saw him among some musicians who had gone to see Kikofiira and he was there [speaks in a mocking tone] struggling to get a touch of Kikofiira. I got disgusted with him. Even if he composes good songs, I just cannot like them.

And who is this Kikofiira who spoilt Mayinja?

You go to the public and ask for Kikofiira. They will tell you his name. [Quick Talk follows his advice and learns that it is President Museveni’s nickname among opposition politicians, because of his love for a hat.]

Hmm, do you think you are romantic?

Romantic? [Shocked]. It depends. I am politically romantic [Quick Talk and passers-by cannot hold back their laughter at the statement which he keeps repeating, barely holding back his own laughter]

What?   

Yes. I am politically romantic; and socially, halfway.

Why only halfway for social romance?   

Today you find that you hardly get time for romance. You go home with so many issues to solve. During the day, you meet so many people who make you more annoyed than happy; so, the situation leaves you angry with no desire for romance. Political romance is when a politician makes the right contributions to society, and I do that.

Ok. When was the last time you danced?
I only dance in lumbe [last funeral rites].

What?!

[Laughing] Of course they invite me to parties. We recently had a party in Guvnor, but for me I only dance with one part of my body. I can decide to just dance with my hand or with my head.  But I enjoy wildlife and I am a good traveler. I travel a lot.

You are smart! Who selects your clothes?   

Myself. I have an eye for nice things and I like good things. I like good clothes, good cars and literally every good thing.

Speaking of cars, which one do you drive?   

So far I have three Mercedes Benzes. I have an E3, an ML and E24. I was planning to buy another one but my farming project was badly affected by the scorching sun.

[Sounding sad:] I had invested Shs 40m in maize farming, hoping to get Shs 100m and buy a new car, but now I have to pay back the loan and maybe try again next year.

Do you ‘drink’?   

I only take soft drinks. I buy wine and keep in my house, but I take it occasionally for medicinal purposes.

Which two people would you like to dine with?   

Prince William and Michelle Obama. They are both very intelligent people. 

pbaike@yahoo.com