Just like most folks maintain that kissing is such an intimate affair that it should only be done in private, another proportion of individuals believe it is fine for people to lock lips publically.

PRISCA BAIKE explores the intricacies that surround kissing, and why it is becoming popular, especially on our continent, despite some reservations.

Some newlyweds recently won themselves cash for apparently putting up the best kissing show following Pastor Robert Kayanja’s daring directive after pronouncing them husband and wife.

This arrangement, which received both condemnation and praise in almost equal measure, may seem new to this part of the world. Internet sources reveal that in ancient Rome, couples got married by kissing in front of a gathered assembly.

Although many of them didn’t do it on their wedding day, most of the people The Observer talked to actually found nothing wrong with newlyweds kissing before the congregation at their wedding ceremony.

“It all comes down to the setting. A wedding is by all means a romantic setting since it is an acknowledgement and celebration of a life-long love affair,” says radiologist Michael Toskinz Kamara, who wedded five years ago.

Although he did not kiss his bride in church, his argument is that sealing a marriage with a kiss makes it a special affair compared to the hug that is widely used.

“A kiss is exclusively for lovers, while a hug is generic and can be given by anyone to anybody. Why not opt for something special on your wedding day?” Kamara asks.

The father of three, however, notes that a wedding kiss does not have to be very long and intimate to avoid making the congregation uncomfortable.

“A short, but meaningful kiss is enough to seal a marriage,” says Kamara, wishing he had kissed his bride the moment they were wedded.

But he observes kissing is unacceptable in the Anglican Church and, therefore, could not go against the church’s instructions. Besides the Anglican Church, most other faiths do not permit newlyweds to kiss publically at their wedding.

Rev Can Amos Turyahabwe, the chaplain for St Francis chapel in Makrere University, confirms it is not allowed for couples to kiss before the congregation on their wedding.

“The sacredness of kissing for couples is close to sexual practice,” says Turyahabwe, adding that it could cause temptation to the unmarried people in the congregation, and portrays a bad example to the children at the ceremony.

But with the changing times and what many refer to as Western influence, people are becoming more willing to seal their nuptial covenants with kisses. Sports scientist Trevis Ouma, 34, intends to kiss his bride no matter the church rules. Ouma, who was recently introduced to his fiancée’s family, hopes to walk down the aisle this November.

One thing he is sure of is that he will lock lips with his longtime lover on their special day.

“We have already discussed, and we know how we shall execute it. It is our special day, and we need to make that memory,” smiles Ouma, a born-again Christian.

While many people may condemn what Ouma is planning to do, he maintains it is the most elusive act of love and affection.

“I don’t see why people make a big fuss over a mere non-erotic brushing of the lips,” he says.

While Ouma is yet to put up his show, Barnet Ssentamu, who said “I do” four years ago, may forget anything else about her wedding but that kiss. It was unexpected, but well timed, she says.

“After exchanging our vows, we hugged as usual, but before we could break the embrace, he planted his lips on mine,” exclaims the mother of one, who is still evidently in awe of the memory that angered mostly the elderly, but excited the youths.

“Our entourage (all youths) was actually impressed. To them, it was the day’s highlight. A wedding is a once in a lifetime event; so, it should be memorable,” she says. “Those who condemned us later realized it was our special day, and we did not commit a crime.”

However, Turyahabwe maintains the act of uniting people is meant to only prepare them for a life together where they would have enough time to enjoy all the privileges of their union privately.

He calls upon Christians to practice self-control despite the excitement and joy that the union brings the moment a couple is pronounced husband and wife.

“A couple can hold on for those few hours of the ceremony, and thereafter engage in such sacred acts privately thereafter,” Turyahabwe says.

PUBLIC KISSING

The wedding kiss aside, most Ugandans are yet to embrace the idea of kissing publically. In fact, most folks still associate it with the Western culture. For Kamara, given the right setting, a public kiss is one of the most beautiful things that can happen between lovers.

“Kisses are not planned; they are spontaneous, and if a couple experiences a rush of emotions that leads to a kiss, it is okay for them to kiss as long as the setting is appropriate,” he says. “As a father, I sometimes kiss my wife before the kids, but it is nothing really sensual in their presence.”

Kamara adds that kissing at a dinner, family party or a cinema is not a bad idea as long as it is not erotic. Meanwhile, unlike in the past, it is becoming common for parents to kiss their kids on faces, which only tells the changing values of our society about kissing.

ORIGIN OF KISSING

The obvious reason why most people kiss is because it feels good thanks to the densely packed nerve endings that make the lips one of the most sensitive regions of the body. A kiss is an expression of friendship or affection, depending on how and where the involved individuals have kissed themselves.

While kissing seems effortless and almost natural, its origin is not clear as researchers are torn between two schools of thought. While some internet studies reveal kissing is intuitive, another research indicates that the act evolved from “kiss feeding” – the process by which mothers in some cultures feed their babies by passing masticated food from mouth-to-mouth.

However, www.gadventures.com suggests that India is the origin of the modern romantic kissing, born from the ancient custom of ‘sharing’ one another’s breath which involved people rubbing their foreheads and noses together.

While the earliest evidence of kissing is thought to be preserved in early Indian sculptures, anthropologist Vaughn Bryant points to earlier Hindu scriptures that mentioned people “sniffing” with their mouths, and later described lovers “setting mouth-to-mouth” actions.

Bryant believes the kiss spread to the West in the wake of Alexander the Great after he invaded India in 326 BC, when he was turned back at the Kyber Pass, and made his way back to Europe.

Worth noting is that even though the kiss might have originated from the subcontinent, its practice has traditionally been regarded by Indians as a private matter meant for the bedroom, according to www.gadventures.com.

As the kiss got widely spread, according to www.gadvdentures.com, it evolved from merely locking lips to also using the tongue – commonly known as French kissing. Much as they introduced kissing with tongues, the French did not have a word for it until se galocher (slang for kissing with tongues) was added to Le Petit Robert’s 2013 dictionary.

WHAT MAKES A GOOD KISS?

Kamara says all kisses are different. Away from the simple lip brushes partners share on a daily basis, he says lovers should ensure they kiss passionately every once in a while.

“Take time kissing your partner. Do it slowly, and get lost in the moment. Take time to feel each other’s pulse as your breath gets harder, and savor the moment for as long as it lasts,” says Kamara, adding that this is the kind of kissing that should be done in privacy.

Nonetheless, he notes that although kissing is usually a form of foreplay, it is good to just kiss even when you don’t plan on twisting the sheets.

“Kiss for any reason and for no reason, as long as you love each other – more so when you are married,” says Kamara. “It is those little things that keep a marriage alive.”

pbaike@yahoo.com