For example, when you do a random act of kindness for your wife, you can set this pulse wild and find that her response to you afterwards is very sexual in nature; blame God’s positioning of this pulse!
When we are happy, our bodies are wired to throb in that most intimate and sensual space – whether you killed a poisonous snake, or touched her intimately. Same pulse. I guess it is why women are also generally stereotyped as materialistic… just remember, the vital pulse that races when we are happy or contented is not just in our hearts, but in the vagina too!
Only a woman can understand the adrenalin rush that comes from watching her man do ‘ordinary’ things that, nonetheless, mean the world to her.
Because most women only pay attention to this undeniable throbbing when aroused in a sexual context, they may not notice it during more normal activities.
“Researchers are finding important connections between the VPA and female sexual response,” Naomi Wolf writes in Vagina: A New Biography.
“When you draw women’s attention to the delicate, ever-present, distinctive pulse in the vagina, they can note it in most circumstances, and certainly often in nonsexual context as well.”
In a survey Wolf conducted for her book, heterosexual women said they felt the pulse when their men did things that left them feeling happy.
“My husband was teaching our son to fix his bike. I felt it,” one respondent reportedly said.
“When we were first dating and I watched him drive really skilfully on a rainy road,” another responded.
One said the pulse went wild when her husband cooked her breakfast; another said it was when she heard him sing, and for another, when he pulled out her chair for her. The throbbing can come on the heels of great (even small) personal achievement, in appreciation of beauty and majesty, as well as gestures of kindness and affection.
It is why date night, doing things and seeing new places together, are important. Some women have not felt their vaginal pulses even flicker, in forever, because the obvious sexual throbbing stopped long time ago, yet even the ‘small’ things that would set the pulse off and lead to great sex in a roundabout way, are also non-existent.
Forgive me if I am over flogging this sex horse in the women’s wing, but it is because I hear and see a lot of men trivialising the female sexual response (or lack of it), without appreciating that the two genders are wired quite differently in that regard.
Yes, it is nice for a wife to often give her husband treats and spoil him with her own money and power, but it is more important for the husband to do those things, because of what is at stake sexually.
Look no further for answers if you or circumstances have forced your wife to become the man in the home, but somehow that development seems to have dealt a deathblow to your sex life. The pulse, man; the pulse!
One such wife (married, yet single in every way that matters) once excitedly reported that her indifferent, uninvolved husband had out of the blue given her Shs 2,000. She earns millions, and I did not understand why she was testifying over 2,000 shillings. But now I get it; he stoked the all-important pulse, even in his silly, stingy way.
“The vaginal pulse is evidently not just a way for a woman to discern her own sexual arousal; it also seems to be a way for the vagina continually to inform the woman about herself on many other levels,” Wolf writes.
carol@observer.ug
