There is this age-old war between men and women over who should play what role in a household.
This completely baffles me because it is quite simple; no need for rocket science. Men provide and protect; women organise and nurture.
Choosing to mix and match things a little bit – maybe she provides and you nurture or you share all burdens equally – is entirely between the two of you. However, to leave it all up to the woman on any pretext is bordering on the criminal!
A woman I know (let’s call her Lisa) recently met a man who left a relationship because mbu the woman earned more than he did, and took every opportunity to remind him of the fact. Evidently, he got irritated and left her with his children.
Now, I know there are all sorts of humans out there. And, maybe, she did torture him with her money but until I hear both sides of the story, I will remain on the fence.
Meanwhile, Lisa has bought the sob story – hook, line and sinker – and even agreed to marry him.
I would say kudos, but I have my reservations. For starters, whereas he currently earns more than she does, Lisa is on a fast career path and has every potential to soon make more money than he does.
What happens then? Will he leave her as well? Secondly, and even more unnerving, is his complete neglect of the family he left behind. His rationale is that since the woman makes enough money, he need not provide for the children – not tuition, not medical bills, not birthday parties, not even toys!
I don’t care what transpired between him and the woman or how much she earns; he has children for whom he will not provide and he calls himself a father, let alone a man?! That’s garbage!
By his own admission, his ex has reached out for help for the children and he proudly declares how he hung up on her! His ego decided that she was doing this just to spite him… After all, what he would give is like pocket change to her!
As Lisa narrated this tale, I wondered how come she couldn’t see that with that kind of attitude, her newfound love probably didn’t bring a coin to the table in his former home! I am hoping, for both their sakes, that I am wrong.
If only such men who give up their provision mantle could take on another one, women would probably be more tolerant. As in, if you will not pay the bills, run the home – do the shopping, cook, clean or supervise the house help… But to disappear from morning till night, and expect food on the table while you enjoy amenities you do not pay for…what do you take us for; your mothers?!!
Put aside your ego and pull your weight – provide and protect to the best of your ability. The woman will then pick up the slack without any squabble. After all, the women who earn less than their husbands do it all the time. It really isn’t rocket science!