In this era of deadlines, competition at workplaces, indefinable targets and the ever-growing responsibilities, some vital family privileges have had to be sacrificed. As ALEX TAREMWA writes, one of the most fundamental, but steadily foregone treats is the home-cooked meal.
Benard Muhwezi is a veterinary doctor operating in areas of Kyenjojo, Kyegegwa and the neighbouring districts. Throughout the week, he is in the field solving livestock-related challenges. Over the weekend, he drives for at least 160 kilometres to his home village in Buremba, Kiruhura district to check on his wife Dianah Kembabazi and their four children. Kembabazi is an LC-III councillor.
Heading home, Muhwezi is also excited by the fact that he will enjoy his favourite delicacy – millet bread aka kalo with eshabwe (ghee sauce) – which his wife can prepare to his expectations.
“I don’t know how she does it, but a week without eating my wife’s food is like a week of fasting. I just can’t stand it! In fact, I always can’t wait for the weekend to come back home,” he says.
This is a point of view that Gard Makuyi Wakubona, a 33-year-old legal assistant and clerk at the Law Development Centre, shares. Married to Phionah Nakyeyune, Makuyi doesn’t only stop at eating the meals cooked by his wife; he also occasionally participates in the cooking process at their apartment in Mukono.
To him, there’s nothing more important to the family than a shared meal. He argues that home-cooked meals make families feel and stay happier even after meal time.
Pointing to his one-year-old son Gershom Makuyi, Counsel, as he is locally called, explains that social connections reinforced over meals can help cultivate a sense of belonging and reduce chances of depression.
“Sharing the joy of home cooking also preserves cultural knowledge and history as we pass recipes from generation to generation,” he says.
NOT THE MAID…AGAIN
Although Muhwezi’s absence from partaking of daily home-cooked meals is understandable and tolerable, most husbands have absconded from eating at home for trivial reasons.
This has not only had rigorous effects on their families, but also brought serious dangers to their health. John Ahebwa, who preferred not to have his details on record, told The Observer that he would rather eat in a restaurant than going home to be served by his house help (maid).
Ahebwa’s wife, a teacher, was separated from her husband when she was transferred to a distant school that she couldn’t return home daily. As a result, Ahebwa was destined to food prepared by the maid; something he notes has put most marriages at a risk of infidelities and eventual break-down.
“If a maid bathes my children, makes my bed and cooks my food, what else is she left to do to replace my wife in my life? So, by not eating home, I reduce on the risk of temptation for the sake of my family,” he says.
But even when husbands have stay-home wives, free schedules, no maids and plenty of stocked food, they are still often absent by meal time. Some would make outrageous claims that they need some junk food in their system. When they are home by dinner, they claim not to be hungry.
As Comfort Tumuhamye, a lecturer at Uganda Christian University (UCU), explains, women often interpret this attitude negatively. In turn, it affects the effective communication that is vital for any relationship.
Tumuhamye also lashes out at working women who shun cooking for their families. She blames them for the poor eating habits among their children and husbands. This, she adds, has raised a generation of children who can neither peel matooke nor identify a single vegetable in the garden.
“We complain of not having enough time to cook, but we spend more time watching other people cooking on TV than actually preparing our own meals,” Tumuhamye says.
“It is sad that we need nutritionists and doctors to teach us how to eat, what to eat, how to prepare a meal, and why we should share in family and community. These are things our grandparents knew by heart.”
HEALTH IMPLICATIONS
In his article: How eating home can save your life, Dr Mark Hyman explains that children who have regular meals with their parents do better in every way; from better grades, to healthier relationships and staying out of trouble.
“They are 42 per cent less likely to drink [alcohol], 50 per cent less likely to smoke and 66 per cent less likely to smoke marijuana,” he writes.
Studies have also revealed that eating out led to at least a 50 per cent increase in calories consumed, sodium and total fat intake. According to a 2015 research by Harvard University, families that ate together every day or most days had higher intake of health-promoting nutrients such as calcium, fibre, iron and vitamins.
It was revealed such families consumed less fat. These conclusions were reached at after the research question: Is cooking at home associated with better diet quality or weight-loss intention?
With people increasingly eating in restaurants and ordering for fast foods deliveries using smartphone applications such as Hello Food, significant increase in obesity cases should not come as a surprise.
POOR HOME ECONOMICS?
The irony is that most people don’t eat at home because there is no food there. In fact, men who are often their family’s breadwinners ensure there is enough food in stock.
One then wonders why after incurring exorbitant costs buying food for the family, given the high market prices, men still find it easy to spend on roadside snacks, fast foods or even similar menus served in their homes.
According to Charles Ocici, the executive director of Enterprise Uganda, this is poor home economics that has tied families in poverty for decades. While delivering a keynote address on family enterprises at UCU last week, Ocici advised families to learn to prioritise and plan for their family’s needs to avoid needless and extravagant expenditures.
“If you want to ensure your family’s wellbeing, then have frequent home-cooked meals put near the top of the list. It may be hard to sit down to dinner as a family, but there is a good chance you can make it work with a little effort if you plan,” he advised.
Ocici further advised families to shop in bulk than in bits, arguing that cooking is much easier if one doesn’t have to run to the shops every time you need a single ingredient.
He adds that eating home-cooked meals regularly doesn’t mean one has to cook every night. If cooking is done in large quantity, one can eat again on the same dish if he has a microwave and refrigerator. All they need is reheat and freeze it throughout the week. But this option, he admits, mostly suits the unmarried working class.
There is no better time for a family to share, bond and catch up than over the dinner table. It is here that traditionally, norms, customs and values were imparted into children.
Things such as speaking while eating, revealing sitting postures, skipping people while they are still eating and texting while at the dining table were always discouraged and punishable in the past. Unfortunately, such things manifest among the ‘dot com’ children.
If families continue to shun home cooking, the generations they are raising will eventually have no opportunity to bond and learn home etiquette.
alex.taremwa@yahoo.co.uk