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Our children are not born-again just because you are

Whether you drag them with you to church every Sunday, have them baptized and force them to do churchy things as you like them, they are not Christian until they say so.

That is what I have learnt, and it will save you a lot of future headaches if you accept it too. We put too much pressure on our children to believe what we believe, the way we believe it; sometimes it works, many times it breeds defiance.

The Bible says we should teach our children the way of the Lord and they shall not depart from it, and in a way I believe that is what we are really doing: introducing them to Jesus Christ when they are young and hope they stay the course. But we cannot force it.

Be confident that you showed your children the right way and when all is said and done, they shall one day find their way back to God and the path you showed them in the beginning.

Children of ministers of God usually have so many struggles because of the pressure to walk as their parents expect them to walk; so, inevitably many fall off the wagon in spectacular defiance and rebellion.

Exercising caution and prayer, allow them to be children; allow them to be teenagers; allow them to be young adults...and when the time is right, allow them to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling as the Bible says. It comes at different ages for every child, but you cannot do it all for them.

I see so many parents trying to over-protect, over-hover and dictate every aspect of their children’s lives, until they simply cannot. As adults out in the world on their own, if you did not equip your children better, they will want to find out about so many things they feel they missed.

I believe external influence can only destroy our children if we obsessively hide them from it; instead, let the children know that “the world is that way, but I expect better from you because what we believe is this way”.

The total ignorance and naivety with which some of our children join the world (because that is where they will get an education and eventually jobs) has gone and broken them irretrievably – save for a miracle.

I respect apostles Sarah and John Bunjo, who once said they allowed each of their children to confess the sinner’s prayer’ when they were good and ready; I remember watching their son Joel say he only accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour when he turned 17!

So, just because you are Christian or born-again, don’t assume the same for your children. For now, groom them, witness to them and give them solid reasons why they should love your God; why they should worship and serve your God.

When they make the final decision for themselves, they shall not veer from it.


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