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Sex Talk: Are your Christmas plans in place, yet?

I think of the festive season ahead as the worry-free time of the year. Not that my worries go away permanently, but I purpose to dedicate at least two days (and that is a lot for a journalist) where I throw all caution to the wind and just…be.

Some of you are in professions that give you a whopping two to three weeks off during December, but somehow, you still jampack those weeks with work and all the world’s worries and come back more stressed than ever.

So, what is new this Christmas season? Have you planned at all?

Don’t tell me about the ‘ekonome’; you can do so many things within your budget and still live the festive season recharged and rejuvenated. For example, in this long school holiday, you can plan with your siblings or even friends to have an adult getaway and plan for the children to spend time with their grandparents, or preferred relatives.

We did not grow up rich, but I remember how Christmas was special in the village with just us children and jajja, who would spoil us rotten and let us chase the goats, then eat until we threw up in the middle of the night.

My mother, a widowed and always-hustling single mother, was never in that village Christmas picture, and it is only recently that she confessed: “I would send all of you to the village and then just…sleep! For like two days straight.”

By the time we came home, she would be fresh and rested, ready to start the cycle all over again. I don’t know what or how healthy your extended family dynamics are, but if yours is a solid family and you totally trust your parents with your children, get planning.

Dispatch the brood to Purongo and stay back and have some quiet time with your spouse. If you have a lot of time off work in the holiday season, you can even join them later and catch up with the whole clan after catching up with each other.

“Don’t feel guilty if you feel you need a little time away from your kids. It is important to spend time with them, but it’s also important that children see their parents in love and connected,” Suzie Heumann and Dr Susan Campbell write in their The Everything Great Sex Book. “What keeps men and women distracted [during sex] are the regular old things that consume our everyday life – work, deadlines…kids and almost anything else that worries us.”

And yet, peace of mind and eroticism or great sex work go hand-in-hand. Some families live in such tight spaces – almost on top of one another, thanks to extended families – and no meaningful intimacy can take place the entire year without tiptoeing and whispering through the whole process. This is your chance; empty the house for a few days and let rip…

Some people’s jobs involve hustling even on Christmas day – there is a shopkeeper I know that simply never closes shop come war, Easter, Covid or Christmas! If you are one of those that fear to miss even one customer, it is important that you start planning now on how to earn yourself at least a day off, and just reconnect with your spouse. A well-loved and well-oiled you will be more productive and creative in your hustle when the break is over.

Everything is achievable with good planning. The problem with many of us is that we don’t know what to do with tomorrow, until it dawns.  You have a month; do better. And if you have the money and resources, the sky is the limit when it comes to how much you can get out of the festive season ahead.


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