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Sex Talk: Hormones…you have no idea!

For the woman 35 years and above, there is a hidden enemy trying to break up your marriage, even as you focus elsewhere. The name of that enemy: hormone imbalance.

Around that age, a woman’s natural production of oestrogen and progesterone drops progressively and while some may not notice any significant effects, this can be debilitating to others. I have seen someone seek psychiatric treatment, only to find out it was her hormones acting crazy. So, watch those levels.

Are you experiencing a loss of interest in sex? Don’t rule out a hormone imbalance, since those two hormones are responsible for the development and productivity of the uterus and ovaries.

And if there is anything I have learnt in recent years, it is how a woman’s sexuality is intricately and intimately wired neurologically with her reproductive system and brain, something that is not in men. That is what makes our sexual responses and emotional attachment as a result of sex uniquely different from those in men.

Naomi Wolf has a whole chapter on that fascinating research in her book, Vagina: A New Biography. So, as those two hormones reduce, the uterus and ovaries’ natural responses are also affected; so, don’t be surprised when your brain starts receiving mixed signals when it comes to arousal and your seduction instincts.

Each woman is different; for some, these hormone imbalance effects are felt in their 30s, others in the 40s and others a little later.

But if you were wondering what was happening to your once highly excitable body, then maybe it is time to talk to your gynaecologist about how to supplement your oestrogen and progesterone production.

Are you having trouble conceiving? Now you know whom the possible culprits are. Hormones. Rather, the lack of them. And few things affect the quality of sex like when a couple is ‘hunting’ frantically for a baby.

The beautiful process of lovemaking usually shuts down and is replaced by the efficiency and precision of a baby factory, if one ever existed! The toll that infertility can have on a couple’s sex life can only be understood by those who have been there.

Most of the treatments involved in this process revolve around fixing the hormone issues; of course, in some cases the hormones are perfectly okay and it is the husband with the infertility cause, but still, check with your gynaecologist, just to be sure.

That insecurity that has lately set in? You guessed right. If your hormones start being ‘off’, you will notice the bodily changes that come with that, and the resultant insecurity and effect on the sex.

One wife once told me tearfully she was convinced her husband was cheating on her, although she could not give a reason for her suspicion.

I thought the natural sixth sense every woman was blessed with had kicked in for her, until she said: “Just look at me and look at him…why wouldn’t he cheat on this!?”

I felt saddened by the disgust in her voice about her beautiful body, but also figured that an imbalance in her hormones was possibly actively messing with her head.

I could go on and on about how important these two hormones are to women’s moods, emotions, sexuality and sensuality, menstrual cycle craziness… in fact, the more I have read up on this, the more convinced I am that some marriages should not have ended when they did.

Indeed like the Bible says, God’s people perish for lack of knowledge!

Know your body better. Recognise every malfunction the way you would immediately notice should the purr or your car engine change – and find a ‘body mechanic’ as soon as possible.

The market is now better equipped with most of what you need to counter the imbalances you are likely to run into as you get closer to menopause.

There are supplements, actual hormone treatments and therapy, diets that help, exercises you can do to snap your body out of it, etc.
I have also noticed that this peri-menopause phenomenon can creep up on you stealthily and for many women it takes time to realise what exactly is going on until it is too late. Don’t be one of them.


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