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Sex Talk: Which one is your perfume?

I love perfumes. Good, unique perfumes, that is; whether they are on my body or someone else’s. Do you have one?

God created us with an inbuilt natural aphrodisiac – pheromones – to attract compatible spouses, just by those chemical substances stimulating the right senses in the right mate’s vomeronasal organ (also called Jacobson’s organ), if science is to be believed.

It is this organ in the nose that communicates to one’s brain about another person’s sexual availability, mood and even compatibility, according to an elaborate article on the blog spot by perfumesclub.co.uk.

But once you have the compatible mate ‘in the bag’, how do you stop him or her from getting used to your pheromones or ceasing to react desirably to them? Two words: smell good. When you smell great, proximity to you does not cause one’s eyes to water in discomfort. And the physically closer you get to your spouse, the more s/he can detect the natural pheromones that come off your body and…bingo!

Now, some perfumes rudely assault the senses and could trigger one’s sinusitis, but for those who know their fragrances in relation to their natural odour compatibility, they can keep sexual action in their marriages long after all hair follicles (these give off the biggest concentration of pheromones – in case you were wondering about women’s recent, subconscious obsession with men’s facial hair) are inactive.

Until I was about 10 years old, I shared a bed with my single mother and loved how she came out of the bathroom smelling all citrusy and clean – a sweet habit carried on from before our father died. I don’t remember what her bedtime cologne was, but the smell has stayed with me to date.

Be thoughtful and come to your spouse in bed, smelling nice; it is rewarding. Stop falling into bed smelling like the brewery, or like feet (in Ross Geller’s voice, in Friends) and still expect kisses, cuddles and pink elephants.

Your bedtime grooming needs to be focused; don’t use strong perfumes you use during daytime or on date night, but have your mild, pheromone-inspired body splashes, colognes or even lotions, that spell sex and intimacy. Spray them not on your clothes/lingerie (fragrances too, go bad), but on your body in the places your spouse loves to bury his nose…

When choosing the perfect perfume, look out for these human-grade, safe ingredients that are really lab-made pheromones and include androstadienone, androstenone, androstenol (or Exaltolide), and androsterone.

But also other ingredients in a perfume such as apricot, black orchid, champagne, jasmine, bergamot, basil, orange, cloves, cherry blossom and black elder create the right mood for sex, just like one’s natural pheromones would. For men, cloves, as well as fresh, woodsy, leathery fragrances do the trick, according to a website that sells ‘pheromone perfumes’.

I believe no single perfume is perfect for everyone; our bodies, characters and skins are different and perfumes are agreeable accordingly. When you find yours – you will know it from the unique reaction it draws – stick to it. You can have your other feel-good, smell-nice fragrances, but have a ready answer should anyone ever ask what ‘your’ perfume is.

Until you get access to a Douglas store or the numerous online options, explore locally. There are quite good colognes and body splashes available at affordable prices. Perfume lovers are probably also aware of the relatively well-stocked perfumery at Acacia mall and Village mall, although check first that your purse is solid.

Otherwise, great lovemaking can only be defined as the kind that engages all five senses – heck, the proverbial sixth sense could also come in handy – yet many couples focus on just the senses of sight and touch, then complain that things are getting boring.

Smell, taste and hearing are just as important, yet they are largely ignored or classified as ‘kajanja’. Eye-roll.

carol@observer.ug

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