David and Diane have been married for years; then there is Julie, the young secretary whose axis collides with the couple’s in ways none of them saw coming.
I left work earlier than usual that evening, so I could drop off the account details and ATM card to Julie at the flat.
There was Shs 3m on the account, which I gathered would be enough to cover her antenatal costs and general living expenses for a while. I figured, if I gave her enough to keep her going, she would have no need of me for a while, and that was my goal.
“Here are the account details and card; there’s three million on there and it should be able to cover your immediate needs,” I said and handed her the envelope, before turning for the door.
She did not even open it to look at the papers, or confirm the amount.
“Why do you suddenly hate me? What did I do wrong?” she surprised me by asking instead.
“I just gave you three million shillings, and you’re asking why I hate you!”
“You know it’s not the money I’m referring to; you just got here, and you’ve hardly taken five steps through the door, before wanting to turn around and leave again! Why?” she asked brokenly.
“I don’t hate you, and you haven’t done anything wrong,” I sighed, then went on: “I’m a married man, that’s all.”
“You were married when you started seeing me, you were married when we made this child; what changed?” she persisted.
“I just realized that I need to do better by Diane; she’s my wife and the mother of my children.”
“In a few months, I’m going to be the mother of your child too,” she pointed out icily.
This was one of the things I had worried about last night – that this pregnancy would give Julie airs and make her assume that she now had some sort of elevated status in my life. I was determined to nip such ideas in the bud, before they sprouted into menaces.
“Listen to me, and listen to me very carefully, Julie. You are the girl I got pregnant, and I am going to do the right thing and take care of you and the baby, but that doesn’t change anything between you and I! You are not my anything, and Diane is my wife - don’t forget that,” I said warningly, and then before she could formulate a response, I turned and left.
After David’s surprise appearance in the morning, I had been left feeling imprisoned and backed into a corner. While I was relieved that he was no longer talking about me having an abortion, and had promised to look after our baby and I, I was apprehensive about quitting my job.
I had always had a job and it supported not just myself, but my family too. It was great that David was going to cater for the baby and my needs, but who would look after my family if I quit?
On the other hand, after his second visit, all I felt was a rising rage and indignation.
What did he mean I was not his anything? How dare he say I was just a girl he had gotten pregnant?
I wished there was someone I could talk to, but my life had revolved around work and my family for so long, that there simply had not been time to form bonds with anyone else – until David – and now that he was making me quit my job, while at the same telling me I was nothing to him, all I had left was my family.
My mother was out of the question; of course I would eventually have to tell her that I was going to make her a grandmother, but not yet. My sister Sara was a more viable option; at least she liked David, and she would not judge me for getting pregnant out of wedlock, like my mother undoubtedly would.
She was away at school at the moment, but I could always visit over the weekend, and just the thought of using her as a sounding board, brightened me up.
David got home early that evening, and I was pleased to see that he had gotten over whatever it was that had been bothering him yesterday.
While he had been cold and distant yesterday, today he was warm and attentive, and while yesterday I had been the one making all the moves, today he was constantly reaching out to touch me.
After the kids had gone to bed, we retired to our room as well, and I knew we were going to make love before David locked the door behind us.
He took charge in a determined and purposeful manner, and I let him have his way and followed his lead. It had been so long since we had been intimate, and I wondered if this was the reason he seemed so hungry for me. In his haste, he wound up hurting me, but I did not let it show or try to stop him.
My husband wanted me again, and that was all I focused on. That whore of a secretary had lost her lustre and whatever appeal she had once held for him was clearly in the past.
Maybe Tracy was right; maybe I didn’t need Mark anymore, I thought to myself as I clutched David, my nails digging into his back.