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I hope there is no Deadpool 3

 

Deadpool 2 finally premiered and I am really confused. The movie was not terrible. At worst, it was mediocre.

And I am not going to sit here and suggest that every movie critic out there should agree with me. Movies are art and all art is subjective. But considering just how underwhelmed I was, I am shocked that so many reviewers actually loved Deadpool 2.

Personally, I would call it a failure, especially if juxtaposed against the brilliance of the first movie. The movie failed in five primary aspects; the comedy was stale, and for a franchise that prides itself on its humour that is problematic. The pop culture references fell flat, the digs at DC and Marvel were clunky, and a lot of the X-Force stuff was silly.

And I won’t even get into the gross humour. Let’s just say I knew I was in for an uncomfortable ride when we reached the toilet paper joke.

But even after my comedic senses began to groan, I was not ready to completely write Deadpool 2 off. That is often the advantage that superhero movies have.

When all else fails, you can always count on them to deliver stunning action pieces. Except that this movie failed even in that aspect. The fight sequences were generic as heck, the choreography uninspired and the set pieces sleep-inducing.

The climax should have been an Avengers-style showdown showcasing the abilities and skills of a disparate collection of individuals combining their efforts to deliver a beatdown of historical proportions.

But the transition between moves and attacks could not have been more…what is the opposite of smooth? Unsmooth? I want to say ‘rough’ but I don’t think the word perfectly captures the dull note upon which Deadpool 2 ended its run.

And then there is the story, which I admit, was ambitious. The first Deadpool was a love story that separated and then reunited Wade Wilson with his one true love. The sequel was supposed to be about family.

Wade basically loses everything and he has to fight his way out of a pit of depression and despair by finding meaning in his relationships with a quirky cast of characters; and then, together, they save the day.

Unfortunately, this was, without a doubt, the weakest part of the movie. Wade had no chemistry whatsoever with any of the supporting characters. The execution failed to create the connection between Deadpool and his crew that the movie needed to make the emotional stakes at the end matter.

And speaking of supporting characters, this was a waste of so many interesting individuals. Colossus gets far more screen time here but his contentious friendship with Deadpool felt shallow. The writers tried really hard to push their relationship, and they failed with just as much determination.

Megasonic had nothing to do, and the less said about the rest of X-Force the better. Every movie critic with a decent online presence cannot stop praising Domino, but let’s be serious; Zazzy Beats did nothing of significance in Deadpool 2.

Take Domino out of this movie and nothing changes. Actually, I can say that about almost every character besides Deadpool. Cable was just there; neither terrible nor particularly exciting.

If you ask me what went wrong, I would say that the writers and director took everything that worked in the first Deadpool, multiplied it by 10 and threw it at us. Kickass 2 tried that, and so did Kingsman 2.

Clearly, that equation does not work. I can’t say I want to see a third Deadpool movie. They have pretty much soured the character in my eyes.

katmic200@gmail.com

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