I have a very perfunctory relationship with my hair.
One moment it is on my head, then it bothers me a little and then in 15 minutes with a pair of scissors, it is gone! At different seasons in my life, it has been long and natural, dreadlocked, clean-shaven, twisted and braided in all sorts of styles, permed and even dyed.
On rare occasions, I have donned a weave and a wig. At any particular time, with any style, that is exactly what I want to do with my hair.
So, when I got quizzed by two grownup men about why women wear weaves, I was at a loss for what to say. I would think the answer is pretty obvious… it is what they want to do with their hair.
But to these two humans, apparently that was unfathomable! They seemed to believe that it was for their pleasure and no one else’s; thus, they somehow had a say in the matter. And since they both didn’t like weaves, they were appalled that we would even consider it!
Today, I will tell you the same thing I said to them: If you have a significant other and her smelly braids are messing with your appetite and nap time, by all means tell her.
If you really want to play with her hair but find the greasiness off-putting; or those locks remind you of a creepy creature, you rather not be that close too… have a chat about what you might find more appealing.
But if you are still debating whether to date a girl or not, and for now she is nothing more than a girl you know, you honestly have no say on what she does with her hair, let alone anything else concerning her life.
Secondly, you’ve got to understand that we all have different kinds of hair. Some are more cooperative than others for certain hairstyles. We also have different senses of style, and invest time to cultivate and maintain a distinctive look.
Therefore, before you ask your girl to change her hair so it looks more like for so and so, consider that she may not be able to… or, even more importantly, may not want to.
Thirdly, regardless of why we keep a certain look, it cannot be denied that between Hollywood, Ugawood, Bollywood and all the other types of ‘wood’, there are certain kinds of women that have been labelled as the ideal beauty: she is skinny, most probably tall and has long wavy hair – natural or otherwise.
Whether that is true or not is not the issue; just remember that when you ask your woman to wear her hair a certain way, that had better be the look for which you swivel your head every time. You can’t order short and natural, and then spend every night out staring at curly weaves and long perms.
Keep all the above points in mind as you navigate the intricate world of womenfolk hair; you just might make it through a happy man.