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Sex talk: Have you saved for Christmas?

In the past I have been accused of talking about plans for the festive season during the period itself when no changes can be made.

So, have you started planning for where the fireworks and pink elephants should find you this year?

Christmas is a big deal for Christians and non-Christians alike. The former, for its spiritual meaning in addition to the festivities, and for the latter, mainly because it is the single holiday the entire year when a huge percentage of workers can manage to take several days off and wholesomely be with family.

But because we are not the best people at planning, year after year, your Christmas is the same: pack up the kids and off you go to the village. When it is not your village, it is your spouse’s village. Every single year.

For others, there isn’t even a village in plan; instead, they go to church, come home and eat, then take a long afternoon nap that hardly ever includes any loving...

Because of the vagaries of life and jobs, many marriages are stressed because spouses hardly have any time to work out the kinks and rediscover one another. Come this long holiday (for some workplaces it can be two weeks) and you still choose to spend it like any other public holiday.

There is nothing wrong with spending time with the extended family; this is Africa, so, family is paramount. And big. And nosy. The occasional village reunions must be truly off the hook. But then you went and made them monotonous.

Now your small, young family tends to disappear in the bigger picture during the festive season, and you come back from the village ornery as hell, because chances are that even less lovemaking than your usual drought, happens while there.

So, have the last 10 Christmases been ‘very Ugandan’; in the village, where you cook, eat, visit with relatives, sleep, check on your farm projects…?

Switch it up this year. Some couples have been saving and plan to go somewhere nice and taste a different kind of Christmas cooking and loving.

Your destination does not even have to be outside Uganda; our country is so beautiful and we know so little of it, yet discovering it would not cost an arm and leg as many imagine.

There are places you will get to and find yourself feeling all lovey-dovey and instinctively reaching for your spouse. No, it is not something you took in the water; change in scenery – especially beautiful scenery – does that. It is the reason why even at home when you buy a set of sofas, a naughty side of you will want to ‘break them in’ properly.

When the bed has fresh, crisp sheets, or the bedroom has a new look, that alone can trigger a different kind of sexual excitement. Now imagine an unusual location, altogether.

You can take your children along but make proper arrangements for them to allow you as many intimate moments with your spouse as possible. It all depends on your budget. But whatever the case, let the sex be different in your marriage this festive season!

We all bemoan the battering economy, but even where things are good, very few people get up in the morning, go to their accounts and pay for whatever excursion they want. Even for the wealthy, these things take planning.

So, save. Browse the Internet and ask friends for references, and see what your budget can accommodate. But by all means, switch things up in your marriage. Find out what it feels like making love with the not-so-distant roar of a live lion as your background music.

Discover the adrenalin rush that comes with being where no one knows you for miles around and you can thus really be yourselves. Punctuate the family reunions with your own couple retreat this year and make arrangements to catch up with the clan later. After all, it is a long holiday.

And it is not too early for me to say, Merry Christmas!

carol@observer.ug

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